I’ve almost always been one of those people who didn’t believe the new year hype. I associated the start of another year with my mom making us clean the house and vowed to not be one of those people. The past two years in particular, I remember not caring what condition the house was in entering the new year. I was actually annoyed with all of the social media posts related to all the changes people wanted to make in the new year. “Blah, blah, blah.” Now, I realize how toxic these thoughts were. It’s as though I was setting myself up for failure for the upcoming year. And, boy, did I struggle. These past 2 years have been filled with some extremely difficult times. Marital and financial hardships, depression, anxiety, loneliness. It’s been rough. So, I’m taking charge of my life and making some changes going into 2020. Here are my resolutions that will help lead to a happier me!
Patience and Grace
I want to be much more patient going into 2020. Patience is important in so many aspects of my life. For one, I need to be more patient and show more grace towards my children. I am one of those moms that is always yelling. I admit it. I get easily frustrated with my daughters. I remember recently reading about how our children constantly show us grace. I thought that was crazy. Them? Show ME grace?! I’m the one that constantly deals with their bickering, fighting, disobedience, messiness, ungratefulness, etc. But guess what? When I’m fussing, “mean” and yelling at them, they come back with a softened heart and want to love on me. They forgive me for being so short with them. I want the patience and grace of a toddler, seriously. I know this isn’t something I’ll be able to change overnight, but I want to take active steps to being more patient.
Not only do I want to be more patient as a mother, but I want to be more patient with myself. We are all so critical of ourselves. We are disappointed at the scale. Upset that we didn’t accomplish everything on our to do list. Envious of the perfect mom who seems to always have it all together. We have to be more patient and show ourselves some grace. We wake up and do the best we can each day, even when that best doesn’t feel like enough. I just have to believe and practice this truth.
It is so easy to say, “do more of what makes you happy.” At the end of the day, the very, very long day, this seems impossible. However, I am on a journey to get back to doing what makes me happy. I’m trying to remember the things that I enjoyed before I became a mother. My entire 20s was spent either in nursing school, birthing/raising babies, or both. I look back and realize that I wasn’t enjoying life. I truly was only doing what I needed to do in order to make it through the day. That is not the way God wants us to live. He wants us to have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). I want to start living intentionally. I want to experience each day, not just make it through. Most of all, I want to be happy and joyful again. There are some times I can’t remember the last time I smiled. I vow to do what makes me smile and spend time with those who make me happy.
Health isn’t just what we see on TV. You know, the woman who looks super happy receiving her Peloton. (I’m so not that girl and if my spouse gave me that as a gift I’d probably be pissed.) I’m talking about emotional, mental and spiritual health. I believe that if you focus on these areas, the physical health will follow. I want to focus particularly on my spiritual health this year. I’ve been reading my bible so much more and spending time with God again. This was a very important aspect of my spiritual health prior to having children. John 15:4 discusses how important it is that we abide in Him. I’ve learned the hard way that apart from Him I feel so void and alone. With Him I bear the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22).
I need to make my mental health my priority as well. This is not as easy for me. I have to learn to say no and ask for help, too. I will be cutting back a ton on my workload, also. Most importantly, I need to start speaking up when something is bothering me. Unfortunately, I am one of those people who tend to bottle everything up until I explode. I just don’t want to be that girl anymore. Change is hard, but I’m so ready to do the work.
Not Your Typical Resolutions
Okay, I know these aren’t the typical resolutions people make, but I truly think they are what many of us need in order to be happier and healthier versions of ourselves. Ultimately, focusing on our mental and spiritual well-being will benefit us in every area of our life. So now, I’m spending time cleaning my home (something I said I’d never do to get ready for the new year) and will be spiritually cleaning it as well. Can’t wait to tell you all how this experience goes for us.
I’d love to hear your resolutions. What challenges are you facing attempting to implement them? Lack of family support? Self doubt? Let’s push one another to be the best us that we can be!